To Hell With Manners
by Remus Bane
Summary: "I'm the Boss. He is a bastard. And this is my world." Meet Naruto Uzumaki, CEO of Shinobi Incorporated. Now meet this other guy, Sasuke Uchiha, CEO of Sharingan Co. "I got lost on the path to Hell, so why do you keep showing up on the side of the road?"
1. That Guy

This wasn't inspired by anything in particular. I've been wanting to write a story for awhile now. I don't have a Beta.

This story doesn't have a concrete plot yet, but I'm working on it. In the mean time, I'm keeping the story open and trying not to get too specific in any one topic and direction. Thanks for reading.

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><p>'Another day, another diamond', I thought dreamily as I looked at my alarm clock at the side of my bed. '10:00 am...Huh...I could've sworn that meeting was at 9 ... Hmmmmm ... Shit.'<p>

"Holy fucking crap!" I screeched as I jumped out of my bed, quite literally. Scrambling off my bed, I failed to realize that my soccer ball, my oh-so-innocent soccer ball, which had been innocently sitting beside my bed, doesn't make a good stepping stool.

Personally, I think he did it on purpose. He's always had it out to get me ever since I dropped him in the pool. If you think I'm crazy, you can blame it all on the stupid ball. I've taken one too many hits to the head from the damn thing. He's getting revenge from the time I dropped him in the pool! I KNOW IT! HE'S OUT TO GET ME!

During the 5 milliseconds that I'm having my mental break-down, I managed to meet a long-lost friend.

**Floor:** Face! Is that you? Hey! It's been a long time.

**Face:** Hey, Floor! Ya, it's me. It's been forever! How's it going?

**Floor:** Fine. Still getting around. How about you?

**Face:** Fine. Nothing new... Oh! So how's it going with you and Ceiling?

**Floor:** Oh, dude. The other night we met up at the bar and she... (This goes on for awhile, so we're just going to skip ahead. We'll continue this later.)

After I recovered from my "accident", I made a bee-line for the bathroom. Looking into the mirror, I took in my eternal blond fluff of a head, my tired sapphires (surround by black bags, of course), the mysterious tan I've always had, the 3 marks on each side of my face that gives me a foxy, rough look, and my leen build which fit snuggly into my lovely orange boxers that I couldn't live without. I don't wear shirts to bed due to the fact that they always try to kill me in my sleep (I'm not kidding).

I'll wake up breathing like I just drowned myself in water, and my body covered in strangle marks. It's the weirdest thing. Sometimes, I wonder if my bed and shirts are plotting to take me out while I sleep. It wouldn't surprise me. They always give me the evil eye when I walk into the room. At least my boxers are still with me, though. I don't think I could survive being strangled by my boxers... Ouch.

After finishing my bodily examination, I came to the conclusion that I only had 3 strangle marks today. Yup, we're off to a good start.

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><p>******Hahahahahahah! I'm a time-skip! Fear me!******<p>

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><p>By the time I reached the meeting room, it was 11:00 am. Sakura was going to beat the crap out of me. Don't be fooled by her bubble-gum pink hair and mezmerizing jade eyes. She will beat the crap out of you. Who cares if you're her child-hood friend? Who cares if you use to like her? Who cares if you're her boss? She will beat the crap out of you. I shivered at the thought.<p>

I tried to come up with a valid excuse for being late to the meeting:

**Attempted Excuse #1:** 'Hey Sakura! Sorry about that. The traffic was terrible. A car got turned upside-down and blocked off 3 lanes. Traffic was backed up for miles.'

**Attempted Excuse #2:** 'Hey Sakura! Sorry I couldn't make it on time. I was on my way here when I got a flat tire. I had to call a tow-truck and he dropped me off here. Who knew that tires popped after using them for 2 weeks?'

**Attempted Excuse #3:** 'Greetings Sakura! I apologize for my tardiness. During my journey here, I was abducted by aliens and kept prisoner in another dimension for a year. I only managed to barely escape when Luke Skywalker destroyed the Death Star, releasing all the prisoners. It was then that Yoda offered me immortality for not telling Darth Vadar the ancient secrets of the Force. But I refused, when I thought of how you would be here waiting here for me to join you. Yoda understood, and used the Force to create a portal that would transport me back to Earth. But due to a time wripple, I arrived at Earth in what appears to be only a minute later than from that of the time I was abducted. Unfortunately, I'd spent too much time in the other dimension, and had to relearn how to speak the language of this world. I apologize for causing you distress in any way over my absence.'...Ya, that'll do.

Once I selected my death wish, I walked into the meeting room. The first thing I saw was a flash of pink, and then I was greeted with "the Fist of Friendship", as Lee liked to call it. The "Fist of Friendship" greeted my stomach like any old friend would... hard and painful.

Remember earlier, how I said sometimes I woke up breathing like I had been drowning? I lied. I woke up breathing like I'd been punched by Sakura Haruno. It was not a pleasant experiance.

Once I was able to breathe again, I looked up (as I was still hunched over, hugging my stomach) and attempted to smile at the cause of my near-death. Sakura had her hands on her hips, looking at me like I'm hyperventalating for the fun of it.

"Naruto Uzumaki. Do you have any idea what time it is?"

I look at my watch (while I'm hunched over). "11:o5."

"And do you have any idea what time you were suppose to be here?"

I look down, not wanting to see the murderous intent in her eyes. "9:00."

"Good. Now, I hope you have a good excuse for being 2 hours late to your very important meeting that can decide the outcome of the business company that your father spent his entire life founding and building with of his blood, sweat, and tears."

She said all of that in one breathe and in 4 seconds flat. I'm dead.

Standing up, "Well, you see Sakura, I was on my journey here when-"

"Oh, spare me your crap, Naruto. I don't want to hear some excuse about you being abducted, kidnapped, attacked, dying, hospitalized, paralyzed, poisoned, unconscious, sh-" I tuned out after that. She always added one to the list whenever I made an excuse. Which was a lot.

This could take awhile.

While Sakura was listing the excuses I've used in the past, I looked around the room, hoping to entertain myself somehow before I died of boredom. Let's see: wooden table, chairs, papers, projector, -'Oh, look at that. That's an interesting painting. I wonder who painted that.'- windows, white walls, blue carpet, some guy glaring at me, a TV, laptops, a briefcase or two- What the hell?

I look back at the man glaring at me. 'Has he been here the whole time?' Judging by the glare that could kill a box of puppies, I'm guessing that he'd been there longer than the whole time. 'Fuck. He's probably the CEO I was suppose to meet.'

Meaning to apologize, I made eye-contact with him, trying to look regretful. The moment we made eye-contact, I felt like he was going to kill me. I honestly did. If looks could kill, he would've stabbed me with a knife, cut me into pieces of sushi, dragged me into the back of his car, dumped me in the middle of the desert, bombed me with nuclear war-heads, dug up my ashes, and dropped me in a vat of chemically combined toxins that could kill a whale with just one touch... But since they _can't_, and I'm impulsive, I was alive enough to react as I naturally would to any murderer who wanted to kill me (besides Sakura). I glared right back.

This guy was a bastard.

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><p>Thanks for reading. Hopefully, I'll continue the story. I am actually really curious as to what kinds of crap I can come up with next. Please review so I know!~<p> 


	2. Sir DuckButt the Asshole

Welcome to the Second Chapter. I managed to write a whole nother chapter. I don't think it's as enthusiastic as the last one, but it'll do. Thanks for reading. Please review!~

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><p><strong>Recap:<strong>

_Meaning to apologize, I made eye-contact with him, trying to look regretful. The moment we made eye-contact, I felt like he was going to kill me. I honestly did. If looks could kill, he would've stabbed me with a knife, cut me into pieces of sushi, dragged me into the back of his car, dumped me in the middle of the desert, bombed me with nuclear war-heads, dug up my ashes, and dropped me in a vat of chemically combined toxins that could kill a whale with just one touch... But since they _can't_, and I'm impulsive, I was alive enough to react as I naturally would to any murderer who wanted to kill me (besides Sakura). I glared right back._

_This guy was a bastard._

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><p>...'Does his face ever freeze like that?' I thought as I secretly watched his face. Luckily for me, my blonde hair was just long enough to hide my eyes if tilted the correct way. 'I'll have to thank Neji for threatening to die my hair neon purple with pink poke-dots if I asked him to cut my hair again within the next 2 months.'<p>

I grimaced. Somehow, it's my fault that my hair grows like a weed. Pardon me for getting the blonde genes. It's not like it'd kill him to cut my hair again. He **is **a professional hair-dresser, after all. It's his freaking job! He should be glad that I come by for a $500 hair-cut, seeing as how he's the one getting paid. It's not like he has anything better to do. I mean sure, you have to call 30 days ahead to get an appointment. I mean sure, Neji's won several awards for some fancy hair-cuts that looks more like antlers and poodles than hair-styles to me. I mean sure, he was listed as the #3 Top Most Wanted Guy for 4 years running, but that doesn't mean he has to be so prissy about giving one of his oldest friends a simple trim. Did I mention I'm paying him? Talk about stingy. Seriously, sometimes Neji can be such a-

SQUISH!...Did you hear that? That, my dear friend, was the sound of my train of thought ...being squished...by a baish work folder...that was thrown at my face...by a forgotten teme...with anger-management problems, apparently.

I glare at the man. "What the hell was that for, teme?"

"For spacing out, dobe. You'd think that someone of your standing would be more professional about his job. Although, I heard that blondes were a bit on the slow side, I never really thought it was tru-"

"Shut up, Duck Butt. I'm not the bird-brain here."

"No, you're just the idiot who pours coffee in his brief-case."

...Coffee in his brief-case? I look down. "Shit!" Quickly, I set down the coffee pot and try to salvage what's left of my work documents. 'No! I need those. Crap, those are for-'. The only thing I got was a 3rd degree burn and a mental-slap to the face. "Ouch! Fucking shit!"

Sakura, being the God-given miracle that she was, appeared by my side in a flash. I had no idea where she'd came from. For all I knew, she'd been down 2 floor levels getting some late paper-work signed because I'd had another "incident" this morning. I'm still pissed about that (No normal soccer ball should be able to plan out his owners demise at 10 in the morning). And pouring coffee into my brief-case, giving myself a burn from Hell, and meeting Sir Duck-Butt the Asshole was not making my mood any better.

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><p>Because she's an awesome secretary, Sakura pulls out a First Aid kit that been hidden in a cabinet drawer and starts dressing my wound. At which time, Sir Duck-Butt, who had been lazily lounging in his chair looking like he was watching the world's most entertaining movie during the length of my pain, smirked, his eyes saying, 'Ha. Loser.'<p>

I glare and stick my tounge out at him.

He raises a perfectly-waxed eyebrow.

I flip him off.

He gives me the middle-finger salute.

I thrown a pen at him (with my uninjured arm, of course.)

He dodges and gives me a "WTF? Really? You're that immature? Oh, well. It doesn't matter. You missed, anyways. Loser." look. Damn his smirk. It couldn't get any bigger. (Amazingly, Sakura hadn't noticed the war that was going on between us. How do you not notice a war?)

Opening my mouth to say some unappropriate comments that weren't acceptable at one's work place (something along the lines of "Oh, shove it up yours, asshole. If that stick can fit up there, your eye-brows certaintly can."), Sakura chose that moment to pushed a little too hard on my now wrapped burn, causing me to hiss in pain.

"Look, Naruto. He is a very important future business partner, who will be very beneficial to Shinobi Incorporated. If he signs a merger with us, then we can be making three times as much money as we're making now. Sharingan Co. is just as powerful as we are and twice as old. It's been passed down through their family line for generations, from father to son. I don't care if you don't like him. I don't care if you hate him. I wouldn't care if he had bloody red eyes and a vow to kill his family. Just make sure that he doesn't vow to kill **you. **I don't care how you do it. Just make him sign that forger. If you don't, I swear on my hatred for Ino, that I will brutally murder you in your sleep and dump your unrecognizable body somewhere where you'll never see the light of day again. So play nicely and **make this merger work**. Okay?" Sakura finished with an sweet, innocent smile on her face, like she hadn't just threatened to brutally kill me in my sleep if this didn't work.

Shit. She swore on her hatred of Ino. Sakura was fucking serious. And there wasn't a doubt in my mind that she couldn't pull it off, too. Who would suspect the pretty, young pink-colored hair girl who'd never told a lie in her life before (that they'd know of)? And you people think I'm crazy and paranoid about being killed in my sleep.

"Fine. But there's a fat chance that that'll happen now."

"Why? He's a business man, as well. I'm sure you two can reach some kind of understanding or middle-ground."

"Like what?" I ask.

"Well, for one, you both like throwing pens and telling people to go screw themselves." ...She's a lot more observant than I give her credit for.

"That's not exactly the perfect middle-ground to start on, Sakura. 'Hey, Duck-Butt. Since, you know, we both like doing stuff with pens and flipping people off, why don't we go down the bar and grab a couple of drinks? We can get to know each other, share our life stories, and talk about how much fun it is to wax our eyebrows like girls. And maybe afterwards, we can go to the salon and get our nails done? Oh, dibs on the pink sparkles!' Yes, Sakura. That's perfect. I can totally see that happening." I say with sarcasm dripping off my every word.

She pinches my hand. "Shut up, Naruto. You have to start somewhere. And it would help if you called him by his given name, not Duck-Butt, Asshole, Bastard, Ms. Bitch, or Sir Chicken Head."

"Why? They fit him perfect-Ouch!" When one queezes a bandaged burn, prepare to feel pain. Lot's of pain.

"Call him by his name!"

"All right! Geeze!...So what_ is _his real name?"

"...You don't know?"

"If I did, why the hell would I be asking you?" It didn't get much more dead-panned than that.

Sakura sighed, "Naruto, you've been fighting with him since the moment you layed eyes on him, and you don't even know his name? I even introduced you two at the beginning of the meeting! Remember?"

"...All I remember is duck butts and hunting season."

"...Here. Look at this. It's a file that I just picked up from Shikamaru about Sharingan Co. and possibly everything you'll ever need to know about him in order to get him to sign that merger." She hands me a file that she'd place on the ground earlier so that it wouldn't get in the way of my bandaging. I open the file and start reading the first page.

_Sasuke Uchiha_

_Age: 26_

_Birthday: July 23 (Cancer)_

_Blood Type: AB_

_Eyes: Onyx colored_

_Hair: Blue-Black (long and spiky)_

_Occupation: President of Sharingan Company_

_Family: Itachi Uchiha (older brother)_

_Address: (private residence)_

I close the file. Across the table, I look at the ass who's name was apparently Sasuke. He was now sitting in his chair and doing who-knows-what on his phone, his hair falling over his face. I guess he stopped paying attention after watching me hiss in pain lost its fun, the teme. At least he didn't hear us talking.

I stare, not really sure what I was looking for, a weakness, perhaps. I had to make this man, a man I loath to the core, sign a contract with me, a man who he loaths to his core, so that both of our businesses can become very successful and wealthy. This was going to be a challenge. But lucky for me, I love challenges.

'Sasuke Uchiha, prepare yourself. You are going down.'

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><p>I wasn't sure if I'd be able to write this, but I'm glad I did. I want to know what you think of the story so far and I'm open to any suggetions. So thanks for reading and please review!~<p>

P.S. I haven't decided if this should be NaruSasu or SasuNaru. Please held me choose!


	3. Think

Sorry for the late upload. Winter break, computer viruses, and writer's block tend to do that to you.

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><p><strong>Recap:<strong>

_I close the file. Across the table, I look at the ass who's name was apparently Sasuke. He was now sitting in his chair and doing who-knows-what on his phone, his hair falling over his face. I guess he stopped paying attention after watching me hiss in pain lost its fun, the teme. At least he didn't hear us talking._

_I stare, not really sure what I was looking for, a weakness, perhaps. I had to make this man, a man I loath to the core, sign a contract with me, a man who he loaths to his core, so that both of our businesses can become very successful and wealthy. This was going to be a challenge. But lucky for me, I love challenges._

_'Sasuke Uchiha, prepare yourself. You are going down.'_

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><p>The silence was deafening. And awkward. Yes, we can't forget awkward. How could we ever possibly forget awkward when it's staring us right in the face? You can't. And now I can proudly say that I understand the saying: "Silence speaks a thousand words."<p>

Earlier, when I'd first just met Sasuke, we'd been glaring at each other like there was no tomorrow. His dark night for my cloudless day. That's what two people who can't standeach other are suppose to do, right? That is until your pink secretary (*cough* demon) realizes you aren't listening to her and punches you in the gut...again. Down for the count twice now (Fuck, man! What happened to your pride?). And to top it all off, Asshole had the nerve to smirk like he'd just won some totally epic fight that he didn't give jack-shit , and my hair is flat. Damn him. Damn him to Hell.

But that's an understandable situation. Two people who feel a mutual hatred for each other as they mentally plot for the other man's assassination and funeral. 'Oh, what should I wear to the funeral? It can't be too outlandish, it is a funeral, after all, but it can't be too dark, either, because that would remind me of him too much. Hmm, what to do? It _is_ his funeral, so I guess I should at least show him some respect... Pfff, as if. Orange it is!'

This silence, however, was different. There was no glaring, no smirking, no murderous plotting or killer intent. It was just simply...awkward. Why, you ask? Well, it's simple.

I enjoy living. It doesn't take much for me to fear for my life where Sakura is concerned. She's really scary. I once had a vision of her throwing paperwork and toilet plungers at me in Disneyland while she rode the Merry-Go-Round. She was sitting on a purple-striped donkey with a rainbow tattoo, saying "I told you, Naruto. I told you to watch out for the spoon. He's an evil one. He'll take your eggs and give them to the vending machine if you're not careful. " Then Mickey Mouse started hitting me with a baseball bat, saying, "You mother-Beep-er! You can't -Beep- ride in my -Beep- for free and then -Beep- expect me to -Beep-. You should've let me -Beep- so that you can -Beep- while you still have your -Beep- and not gain weight! What -Beep- is wrong with -Beep- you?" He was pissed. So I did the only logical thing that made sense to me at the time. I yanked his ear to me and yelled, "Where the hell is my spoon?" Mickey flips me off and disappears in a cloud of smoke. Then a naked zebra, wearing nothing but a Santa hat, walks up to me, puts his candy cane right in my face, and screams, "BBBEEEEEPPPPPP!"

To say I was sufficiantly confused was an understatement. The only thing going through my head at the time was, 'Where the hell did that donkey get that tattoo?' That was until I realized that I was laying on my bedroom floor, staring at my ceiling fan as my alarm clock went off. Understandably, I told Sakura no when she asked if I wanted to take a vacation to Disneyland the next day. I will never look at Mickey Mouse the same way ever again.

So due to the fact that I fear Sakura **way **more than I hate a certain Uchiha, I must comply with her terms/demands. Make nice with Sasuke and she won't kill me. Simple. The problem is that it's a lot more difficult than I thought it would be. See, right now, I would be glaring, growling, and hissing at the ever stoic Uchiha for ever existing, _but _I'm not. Self preservation beats all.

As for the present, it's as awkward as it was 2 minutes ago... and 5 minutes ago... and 10 minutes ago...and so on... and so on... You get the idea. For the past who knows how long, I've been silently sitting in my black wheelie chair, staring at the floor while slightly turning left and right with my feet. Sasuke, on the other hand, was lounging in his black chair, impatiently tapping his fingers on the desk while glaring holes in my head. Sakura left again, giving some excuse about needing to check on something. I stood up in my sad attempt to stop her, but she insisted with a reassuring smile and eyes of the Devil, promising to personally drag me to Hell if I didn't sit down and play nice with Bastard. I sat down.

So here we are, waiting... and waiting... 5...4... 3... 2... 1...and-

"Dobe." Looks like he couldn't take it anymore.

I ignore him.

"Hey dobe."

'Don't talk to him, Naruto. Only bad things ever happen when you talk to him.'

"Dobe!"

"Yah?" I say quietly, still looking at the floor. 'Thanks for listening to me, kid. Now we're both screwed.'

"Stop that!"

"Stop what?"

"Stop acting like some little love-struck girl. It's annoying." He stated with a sigh, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned back.

I'm offended. "Excuse me? I'm sorry I didn't realize that you liked my voice so much. It is a nice voice, though, isn't is? Not too deep, not to raspy. Just right. I knew that a lot of girls found it attractive and all, but I never thought that men liked it, too. I'm sorry for never n-"

"Oh, shut up, dobe."

"Why? You're the one who said you liked my voice. Besides, you'd be lucky to have someone as awesome as me fall in love with you. It just wouldn't be fair to everyone else. I can't say I blame you, though. If I was gay, I would want to date me, too. I mean, who wouldn't want to date a blonde god like me? I'm amazing." I say, flipping my hair like every movie-star does. If you're gonna talk like a conceded movie-star, you might as well act like one.

Sasuke gives me a strange look that I can't decipher. It's gone as quick as it came. "Don't flatter yourself, idiot. Not everyone is into blondes. Some people actually prefer intelligent life-beings. Ones that know how to tell time and don't make up excuses that involve being abducted by Darth Vader."

I didn't hear him. I was too busy trying to decided whether or not that look had just been my imagination. What did it mean? Why would he give me a strange look? Was there something on my face? Was it something I said? Am I paranoid? What did I say? Something about me being amazing and dating myself. I'm not sure. I can't remember that well. I think it was-

"Uzumaki!"

"No, Mr. Waterman! You're not that bald!"

"..." Ya gotta love conditioned responses.

"... Ignoring that. Anyways, I'm leaving now. I have other meetings to attend. And seeing as how we've made no progress with this whatsoever, we're going to have to continue this another day." He stood up, lightly dusting off the invisible dirt on his shoulders. Him and his big, fancy words. Hmph.

"Ya, ok." At least now I have time to figure out how I'm going to get him to sign. I'm not much of an "on the spot" thinker. "Try to avoid going outside. We can't have any birds skewering themselves on your hair. You know, save the animals and all."

"And you try to avoid going out in public. It'd be bad if people got infected with your stupidity. We can't have anymore idiots running around, be abducted and wasting coffee. It'd be the apocalypse as we know it."

...Too-shay.

He started to leave. Opening the door, he suddenly stopped. Turning back around to look at me, Sasuke said, "Don't get too carried away. You never know what will happen." And with those words, he left.

Talk about cryptic. _Don't get too carried away. You never know what will happen. _'Hmm, I'll remember that. You never know when you might wanna make someone eat their owned words.' I stash that away for another time. Looking out the window, I watch the cars rush back and forth, just blurrs of color and metal. I think about what's happened so far. 'So what do I do now?'

Like someone was answering me, Sakura walked in. "Oh, he already left. Did you get the merger signed yet?"

"No. But we're going to meet up again later, so I have time." I answer.

"Ok." She walks over to me. Taking advantage of the back of my chair, Sakura started wheeling me toward the door. "So seeing as how the meeting ended and you don't have anything else to do, I'll go get the paperwork you haven't finished. It's due tomorrow and you're not even halfway done. Really Naruto, I expected better of you. You're a full grown adult and CEO of a company. You should know bett..."

God damn whoever answered me.

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><p>I wrote "too-shay" as it's read because I don't know how to spell it.<p>

Please review. And if you have any ideas as to the plot, I am all ears. Thanks.~


	4. On the Road

Still alive. Thought I would update. Bleh.

My question of the day: "Should we be embarressed that we're basically writing gay porn on the Internet?"

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><p><strong>Recap:<strong>

_Talk about cryptic. _Don't get too carried away. You never know what will happen. _'Hmm, I'll remember that. You never know when you might wanna make someone eat their owned words.' I stash that away for another time. Looking out the window, I watch the cars rush back and forth, just blurrs of color and metal. I think about what's happened so far. 'So what do I do now?'_

_Like someone was answering me, Sakura walked in. "Oh, he already left. Did you get the merger signed yet?"_

_"No. But we're going to meet up again later, so I have time." I answer._

_"Ok." She walks over to me. Taking advantage of the back of my chair, Sakura started wheeling me toward the door. "So seeing as how the meeting ended and you don't have anything else to do, I'll go get the paperwork you haven't finished. It's due tomorrow and you're not even halfway done. Really Naruto, I expected better of you. You're a full grown adult and CEO of a company. You should know bett..."_

_God damn whoever answered me._

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><p><strong>3 Days Later<strong>

"...That bitch."

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"... We'll call you up when your order's ready, sir."

I nod my head and walk away, grinning. 'Poor sucker. She's probably going to spit in my food now or something. Ha, there goes the biggest tip she's ever going to get. Plus, I can just switch the burger with Sakura's, so-'

That bitch.

I frown, remembering who the true villain is.

How dare she. How dare she do this to me. Who does she think I am, her servant? I'm her boss, for Christ's sake! And the Boss does not do coffee runs! Especially for his secretary/friend/personal demon! What the hell!

'Okay. When she's not looking, drop her burger in th parking lot, and pretend that you forgot to get a reciept. This way, she'll be starving for the entire 2 hour car ride. And then she will learn not to mess with **the Boss**. Ha! Take that, Sakura!'

At this point, you could question my own sanity. And for many reasons.

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><p><strong>5 Minutes Later:<strong>

"NARUTO!"

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean-"

"AHHH!"

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><p><strong>10 Minutes Later:<strong>

It came back.

That awkward silence from before came back. I'm sure of it.

Right now, it's probably thinking, 'Oh fuck. Not this guy again. SHOOT ME NOW.'

Tch, bastard. I don't see what his problem his. He's probably getting **paid **to be awkward, anyway. With me around, he'll never have to bother with some first-couple-sex ever again! Now that sounds like a pretty good deal to me. So be grateful, you shitty fuck!

_"Fucker."_

'Asswipe.'

_"You can't drive for shit."_

'And you can't drive at all.'

_"How do _you_ know?"_

'...P-Piss off!'

_"No thanks."_

'Go away.'

_"As if. I'm gonna be rich." _...I knew it.

'Like I care. I'm plenty rich, already.'

_"And that's why you're driving an ancient volks-wagon."_

'Shut up. It was my parent's first car. It helps me think.'

_"Not much."_

'Fuck off. I'm busy.'

_"Not thinking."_

'Screw you.'

_"I'm straight."_

'...'

Nursing my eye, I continue to drive down the highway, swirving between cars and dead animals, alike.

_"Try not to think too hard. We can't have you in pain at the wheel."_

'I already in pain.'

_"Damn it, kid. Suck it up and take it like a man. Not up the ass."_

'I'm not a girl!'

_"Hn. But you scream like one."_

'Egh, don't do that. That's creepy.'

_"What?"_

'You sound just like** him**.'

_"Your boyfriend."_

'He's not my boyfriend!'

_"But you like him, hhmmm?"_

'Fuck you!'

_"I'm straight."_

'I never asked!'

_"Just thought I'd let you know."_

'...I'm straight.'

_"So am I."_

'...'

_"I'm tired."_

'From what?'

_"Being awkward."_

'Then go be awkward somewhere else.'

_"Can't."_

'Well, why the hell not?'

_"...The windows' closed."_

*twitch*

I roll down the window.

"Naruto, can you close the window?"

"I thought you wanted it open, you fucking bitch."

"..."

* * *

><p>Finally arriving at our destinantion, I open the door and get out of the car.<p>

"Finally! I thought we'd never get here!" Sakura said, stretching her arms above her head.

'Easy for you to say,' thinking back to the car ride here. 'You're not the one that looks like a raccoon.'

"Mommy, why's that man a raccoon?"

"Shh! Don't look at him. Or you'll become a weirdo, too."

'... This better be worth it.'

"Come on, Naruto! Don't worry about it. They're not that bad."

I look at her.

"... Anyway, let's go! The rides are waiting. Let's go have some fun!"

A carnival... maybe I can become a carney?

* * *

><p>All those fun moments they can have at the carnival. Hehehehehe...<p>

Review for Naruto to realize his dream of being a carney!

Review.


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